


John And Nepeta Do Things Together

by PlayTheRain



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/M, Fluff, If you weren't sold at finger licking then I don't know you, finger licking, petting, roleplaying
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-14
Updated: 2013-10-14
Packaged: 2017-12-29 09:52:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,169
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1003982
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PlayTheRain/pseuds/PlayTheRain
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John sneaks an alien catgirl into his house and they have a heated roleplay session. Fluff overdose.</p>
            </blockquote>





	John And Nepeta Do Things Together

One day when his father was away, John sneaked an alien catgirl into his house.

John had met this girl on the internet. In fact she had been in his trollslum for a while, although John didn't remember exactly when and how she had gotten there. John had talked with this girl a few times but had found no reason to dislike her in particular. In fact in their latest conversation John had jokingly invited her to visit him whenever she wanted, and then the joke grew out of control and all of a sudden she was now standing on his doorsteps. John and the girl looked at each other awkwardly for a long time, where it became evident that they were both just as confused as the other that this meeting was actually happening.

John was pretty sure that you are not supposed to invite strangers from the internet inside your house. However, John also figured that when said strangers timidly scratch on your door while you are home alone and then shyly poke their fingers together while looking at you, you might as well just give in and let them enter. John nodded and introduced himself and then the girl pounced one him, after which she started running maniacally around his house with her hands outstretched in front of her, and then John wondered how long it would take before he would regret what he just it.

In order to feel more in control, John convinced himself that he would invite the girl to leave his house the moment that she did something wrong or displeased him. However, John soon found that it was hard for him to dislike the girl. For one she was an actual real alien with gray skin and yellow eyes (John thought at first that it was weird makeup) and for two, the girl was a total oddball. As soon as she saw the harlequins that decorated John's house, the girl crouched and rounded her back and hissed like a stray cat and even her tail (why did even she have a tail) jolted up in the air with fright. The girl (her name was Nepeta) said that jesters evoked bad feelings. She explained to John that it had something about her home planet having killer clown. "It doesn't get any better than that", John thought to himself in good humor, and while John knew that the whole situation was incredibly silly, the bottom line was that the girl HATED HARLEQUINS which made John very happy since HE DIDN'T LIKE THEM EITHER. It was simply the quickest way for John to judge a person and decide that they are definitely alright.

Now that he warmed up to the girl, John decided to prove himself an excellent host by offering to guide her around his house. This proved harder than it looked. You could hardly take three steps inside John's house without stumbling on some sort of jester, and John's house guest was dead set on flipping out at the sight of every asshole dressed in motley that she spotted. Soon she started growing anxious and began quivering, like she was standing in the house of an enemy, and John assumed it was also part of his job as a good gentleman to sooth her, which he did properly by holding her by the arm and reassuring her. John explained to the girl that his father had a weird obsession with jesters, but this knowledged seemed to not help the situation one bit as the girl started trembling and asking John if his father was a juggalo. John wasn't sure what to make of that and shrugged. John focused on telling his guest that everything was alright, and then he started holding her still until she stopped trembling, and then he started petting her softly, which seemed to appease her very much. As soon as John finished calming his guest they would resume the visit of the house, but the girl's fears and anxiety kept flooding back like waves. Whenever John pointed at a new clown (John started doing it on purpose) the girl would gulp and her tail would fly up like an exclamation mark above her butt, and then John would pet her until her tail turned into an question mark and fall sloppily by her side. Sometimes John kept going for a little longer and scratched her head gently, which made the girl close her eyes while her tail twitched. John felt that it was probably something he shouldn't be doing but he saw no compelling reason to stop. As John found out, it's hard to refrain from petting a cute cat, and it's even harder to refrain from petting a cat-like cute girl that shouldn't be in your house.

After the house exploration was over, John invited Nepeta to see his room and her cheerful response caused John to feel suddenly strange in the chest, as if his heart had just tried to suck in an large obstructive object through its aorta. John found that his heart was starting to beat really fast. He wondered if there was something wrong with him and whether he needed some kinda medicine. It was, after all, some awfully bad timing to be sick. There was a GIRL in his bedroom and she was BOUNCING ON HIS BED WHILE GIGGLING and there he was, fretting over a sudden constrictive feeling around his heart that didn't make any sense at all. In fact, John found that simply looking at the alien girl made him feel uneasy, as if there was a tickling bomb inside his chest and it threatened to explode and John wasn't sure if he could hold it back or if he even wanted to hold it back.

While John stood confused in the doorway to his room, the alien girl took the initiative to sniff his bed and poke his pillow and rummage through his desk and make a mess of his magic chest. Eventually she jumped back on the bed where she went on all four like an animal while looking at John with expectation. John was confused at first, until he realized that it was an invitation to roleplay and then he pondered for a while if he wanted to play along; it certainly wasn't making the feeling in his chest any better (in fact it was quite the opposite) but John decided that it wasn't the weirdest thing to happen that day, so why not. John had little talent at roleplaying (Nepeta had to pick an animal for him to start it off) and what followed was both the shittiest and most amazing roleplay session that John ever participated in, mostly because it was his first.

The roleplay scenario took place on the bed, which apparently was the antechamber of some kinda palace filled with animal folk. Nepeta played the role of a lonely courtesan kitty in the castle, and she had picked for John some kind of blue bird as his animal. John spontaneously decided that his fursona (or is it feathersona when it's a bird? wow roleplaying is weird) was a trickster who regularly pulled pranks on the other animals in the court. Nepeta directed much of the scenario but left John the task of expanding on what kind of pranks his character was playing in the setting of an animal castle. Then Nepeta insisted that they build upon a plot and started it off by herself. John found quite hard to follow due to the heavy quantity of animal puns and weird alien words about animal mates and sprites, but from what John understood his character was having an affair with Nepeta's character - Or something like that - and they were meeting in secrets. Soon their characters started taking turn arguing with each other about how they should stop meeting in secret but couldn't stop themselves. The whole thing involved an awful lot of face rubbing and pawing at each others' clothes. Whenever Nepeta got too much into her role, she would pounce on John and take a few timid licks of his face before retreating to the end of the bed while blushing green. It really didn't help John's impending feeling that something inside his chest was rapidly getting twisted and untwisted and begging to explode.

During a particularly close scene where they were practically on top of each other, John and Nepeta heard each other stomach's growling and realized that they were hungry as hell. John also had the feeling that he was also hungry for something that wasn't food, but he tried to push this thought aside, and he grabbed Nepeta by the hand to run to the kitchen and where they raided the fridge like good teenagers. They hurriedly gnawed on left-overs (John was pretty sure that he saw the girl eat raw meat) and then they brought back a plate of microwaved french fries to use as snack while they continued roleplaying John's bedroom. John and Nepeta looked at the warm salty fries with water in ther mouth and ruled out that it was alright to resume their roleplay session while eating them. At this point John was growing certain that this roleplaying was, in fact, totally awesome and should never stop. Ever.

It was Nepeta who took charge of how they would incorporate their snacks into the roleplay scenario. With her tail waving back and forth, Nepeta set up a where her character had been wounded by a prank gone wrong, thus causing John's character to feel guilty and stand by her sick bed to feed her. When Nepeta was done explaining, she cutely jammed her little fists against her cheeks, then pointed at the bowl of french fries, then opened her mouth and pointed inside. The message was quite clear. Nepeta's mouth curled into a sly smile and as John started picking the french fries and offering them to her. At first Nepeta sat still on the bet and would only lean forward a little to bite a fry in John's fingers. Eventually the scenario grew more bold and Nepeta ceased leaning forward to bite the fry; she only sat forward on her legs, with her two hands laying flat near her knees, and she stayed immobile while John roleplayed how she took care of her sick character while simultaneously pushing the fries inside her mouth one by one, which she gulped down eagerly. By the time the bowl of fry was half emptied, Nepeta was sitting inched away from John with her eyes closed and her mouth open, waiting patiently and trusting him entirely to treat her good. John's heart started palpitating as he started putting the fries directly on her tongue inside her mouth (John was quite sure that her alien tongue was longer than normal). Once they started reaching the bottom of the plate, John started feeding John a lot more slowly to savor the moment, taking the time to shove his hand as deep as possible inside her mouth, while Nepeta started to lick John's fingers clean after each attempt, and then she started holding on to John's hand to to suck on his finger absentmindedly, trapping it in place while her long alien tongue slid delicately between his fingers.

John was now starting to feel as if a ruthless military organization was testing illegal nuclear warheads inside his chest. The nukes were detonated in cascades, right behind his navel, causing cataclysmic storms and earthquakes, and John assumed that the accumulated radioactivity from the fallout was the reason why he was getting so hot and bothered in the head. In fact he was getting so dizzy that he felt he was about to fall - to fall on top of Nepeta. John had to restrain himself from following his instinct with all the mangrit instilled by his gentleman's conduct while Nepeta dutifully closed her eyes and continued timidly holding his hand and licking every inch of it.

Then things got out of hands.

One moment Nepeta was sucking on John's fingers with her tail flapping happily, and the next moment she was yanking him forward. John grabbed Nepeta and she grabbed him and they rolled together and then Nepeta was on top of him, with both her hands to either side of John's head, and she stared at him with dilated eyes with their chests so close that her breasts poked at him through their clothes. They said nothing and were breathing very hard, and their chest rubbed with each heavy breath, and Nepeta's tail was flapping happily up and down and left and right.

Then she attacked him.

Once Nepeta was done with John she vanished out of his life just as quickly as she had entered it; the boy was alone in his room with his clothes torn off, half-nude and covered in scratches. As he laid on his back and stared at the ceiling, John Egbert decided quietly that roleplaying was definitely awesome.


End file.
